GRIEVING OUR LOSSES –
A NECESSARY STEP FOR PERSONAL GROWTH
By Sister Brenda
Walsh, Racine Dominican
These days, many people are grieving their losses of one kind or
another, at a personal or societal level. It could be the loss of a
loved one, loss of health or work and all the consequent losses,
loss of peace in the family or neighborhood or some other cause of
grief.
We face loss and grieve at one time or another. We need to remind
ourselves that grieving is not a weakness or lack of faith, but a
psychological necessity. Grief is a normal human process that all of
us experience at one time or another. When we handle grief well, it
can be therapeutic. By sharing grief with others, it can help us
cope with it better and help the grief to diminish with time as we
work our way through it.
HOW DO WE EXPERIENCE
GRIEF?
Grief can manifest itself
in several ways:
- as bodily stress, pain, restlessness, irritability, weeping,
or anger
- as a sense of hostility toward God or others
- as a sense of guilt and sometimes grieving person starts
blaming God or others or even themselves for what has happened
to a loved one. They may also blame the person who has died
suddenly and left them without any warning.
- as depression, fear or loneliness
We need to name our feelings and go through the grieving process,
walk through the center of our grief and not just tiptoe around it.
We need to remind ourselves that grief is the price we pay for love,
when we feel the loss of a loved one. All of us are less than
perfect and blaming ourselves and the person who has died will not
be a solution. We can learn to share our grief, manage it, learn
from it and use the wisdom we have gained to help others in similar
situations. Some tend to deny their grief and this does not solve
the problem. Some anxiety is not necessarily a bad thing, but if it
lasts too long, it is an indication that the grieving person needs
some help.
Faith is very important in working our way through grief. It does
not remove the pain of grief, but it can help us to live with and
work our way through it. God’s compassionate and healing spirit will
help us find healing and hope. We can help the wounded, grieving
person search deep within and find their own connection with the
Divine, discover their own resources and move toward independence
without the loved one who has died. We can all learn through
suffering and as Henri Nouwen described himself, and become "wounded
healers." It helps people move away from self pity and be
compassionate companions for others on their journey. They will then
become better, not bitter on their way through the grieving process.
Acceptance of our pain and loss is also an important stage of
grieving. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, no set amount of
time to walk through the grieving process. There is no "one size
fits all" in our grieving. By keeping the circle of family and
friends within reach, resting, taking care of oneself and relying on
God’s healing presence and power will enable one to continue the
journey successfully. Joining a support group may also be helpful.
When people offer suggestions, listen to them. They may offer some
help that has been overlooked. Giving thanks for our continuing life
and all the blessings we enjoy day by day will also facilitate the
healing process.
Many grieving people
write journals, put into words their precious memories and recall
with gratitude, the love of the person who has been part of their
life journey. By entrusting our deceased loved one to the gentle
care of our loving God, and living with the hope of joining them in
an endless future with God, is a wonderful source of healing and
encouragement. All of us can be helpful in walking with grieving
persons and help them to reach beyond their grief toward greater
life and wholeness. We all need friends, faith, family, hope,
meaning and courage to work our way through the grieving process.
Preaching Essay Archive
Just click on an Essay title below to read it.
(The latest submissions are listed first.)
• Preaching Mark 2023 • • Preaching Mark 2022 • • PREACHING MATTHEW • • Even the Hymns Preach • • PREACHING IN THE BLACK CHURCH • • A PRIMER ON THEOLOGICAL THINKING • • Advent 2018 • • Preaching Luke • • The Journey Through Lent • • A New Year - A Time To Choose • • Called To Continue Our Journey As Peacemakers • • CALLED TO NAME • • CHOOSING HOPE IN TIMES OF DARKNESS AND CHALLENGE • • Easter: A Call To Renew Our Faith • • Fan Into Flame • • Grieving Our Losses • • IMAGINING A RE-EVANGELIZED CHURCH • • The Importance of Inter-Religious Sharing • • THE PROMISE OF EASTER –“ THAT ALL MAY HAVE LIFE AND HAVE IT IN ABUNDANCE.” • • Are We Living In Pentecost Times? • • Living With Gratitude and Hope • • “Lumen Fidei” – the Call and the Challenge • • What is the "New Evangelization"? • • Pentecost • • PRAYER OF PREACHERS • • Inculturated Liturgy Challenges Preaching to Flower • • Preaching Lent - Year C • • Reflection - Psalm 127 • • Reaching Youth Today • • The Need To Reclaim And Live With Moral Courage • • The Sacred Triduum • • STRENGTHEN OUR HOPE TO REPAIR A BROKEN WORLD • • Welcoming the Stranger • • Working for Peace •
Blessings on your preaching.
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